Stupid Squirrels
by Krypticated
Summary: A few humerus oneshots about random silliness.
1. Stupid Squirrels

**I decided to redo this one. Not very different, but just a bit more description and a little less grammatical error.  
Transformers is (sadly) not owned by me. If I owned Transformers, Prowl wouldn't be in the well of Allsparks. Stupid directors…. Annnyway…  
TF:A, Prowl, Bumblebee, Oneshot.  
On with the story!  


* * *

**

"Urrg. Why did I have to get stuck out here, in stupid nature? Stupid trees. Stupid dirt. Stupid mountains. Stup…"  
"Because I volunteered, and Prime knew this was a punishment for you." Bumblebee was quickly cut off by an irritable Prowl, as they sat around a campfire in the mountains.

"But all I did was fill your room with cow…"  
Prowl fumed at the memory of entering his room after a long patrol, and then being crushed by a tidal wave of manure.  
How the little aft-ache managed to fit so much bovine waste into his quarters, he'd never know. Perhaps it was best left unknown.

"And what was your excuse?" Prowl cut him off once again, attempting to keep a calm disposition.  
"Sari told me it makes things grow! I wanted to see how big that tree of yours could get." he said, defensively, "Anyway, what are we supposed to do out here?"  
"There have been numerous reports of people being attacked by ravenous squirrels. We must keep an optic open to find out why."

Bumblebee yawned. "Well, you keep both of yours open, while I take a little nap."  
"Do you really expect…" Prowl started, before he realized Bumblebee was already deep in recharge.  
Prowl sighed and settled in for the long haul.

As the sun rose, Bumblebee didn't. Prowl shook him awake and handed him a mug of hot oil.  
"So. Did you see any nutty squirrels?" Bumble asked with a laugh, very pleased with his pun.  
"As a matter of fact, I did. One of them attempted to bite my finger off."

"Did you flick the little thing into a tree?" Bumblebee said hopefully.  
"No… but I did frighten it. It 'went to the toilet' as Sari says, and ran away."

"Ha." Bumblebee exclaimed as he took a gulp of oil.  
"How's your oil?" Prowl asked.

"Fine, fine. It's a bit nutty…" Bumblebee said, and suddenly with realization, "You… you…" he stammered, staring at Prowl in horror.

Prowl smiled are rare and devious smile.

"Well, you are always complaining about your height… I just wanted to give you a helping hand."

End

* * *

**R&R perhaps?  
I hope you got a laugh out of my crappy little fic.  
~Krypt**


	2. Police! Freeze!

**Okay, so I decided to make another one (Thanks for the support Skellington girl! :P )  
I hope no one is too OOC, I'm only just getting back into the routine of writing.**

**G1. Oneshot. Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Prowl, Jazz, Optimus.  
**_**Yes, I have a big thing for Prowl ( fangirl squee… )  
**_**Onwards with the fic!  


* * *

**

It had become an unintentional ritual that at least once a week, a joke would go down. Whether it be filling the security hub with small wind up mice and watching Red Alert run full pelt, screaming down a hallway, or replacing Ratchet's wrench collection with pink, stuffed animals, it was there to lift the spirits of the crew.

So when it is said that the twins were too stumped to think of a new prank, well. You could imagine their frustration.  
"Come _on_, Sunny! _Think _of something!"  
Clang!  
"Don't call me Sunny. And why do I always have to be the processor? Why don't you think of one?"  
Sideswipe sat on his berth rubbing at his helm.  
Maybe the Earth's internet could give them some ideas?

**XxXx**

"So, does everyone know the plan? Yes? Good." Sideswipe nodded approvingly. "At 15.00 hours then!"

**XxXx**

The twins had been too quite. _Much_ too quiet. No one had seen hide nor hair of either twin for a few hours, and it was beginning to worry Prowl.  
An extended absence of the twin-twats as Ratchet had once called them, often meant one of two things.  
They were either in the brig, or planning something.  
Since the two had already completed their mandatory stint for the small wind-up rodents in the security hub this week, that meant that they weren't in the brig.  
So that left one option.  
Prowl raised his servo to his helm and contacted Optimus.  
*Sir, have you by chance seen Sideswipe or Sunstreaker about?*  
The static of an open frequency filtered through his comm. for a few nano-clicks longer than they should have.  
_Is he hesitating?  
_*No, no, I haven't seen them*  
The Prime's voice was slightly higher than it usually was. _What is he holding back?  
_*Are you alright, Optimus?*  
*Fine, fine. I'm just fine.*  
_Hmm…  
_  
Prowl turned off his comm. and stood to leave his office, like he usually did. His schedual hardly wavered day to day. You could set your watch by him. And as always, he left at the same time.  
At 14.56 hours.

**XxXx**

Arriving in the Rec. room, Prowl headed to the Energon dispenser to retrieve his daily ration.  
Resources were beginning to grow scarce, and as a result they had had to start rationing energy.  
He then turned to come faceplate to faceplate with Jazz.

"Jazz. Good afternoon. Have you finished that report? The one due three days ago?"  
"Well, heck Prowler, ya jus' get straight to the point, don'cha? And yes, I ha…"

Jazz cut himself off mid-sentence, and stood stock still. Not a tremor moved through his frame. He was simply; frozen.  
"Jazz? Are you alright? Jazz!"  
He resisted the impulse to wave a servo in front of Jazz's optics, and instead settled for comm.-ing Ratchet.  
*Ratchet? Jazz is frozen. Could you give me some assistance?* Prowl struggled to keep his calm façade, as his voice rose ever so slightly in pitch.  
*Tell that to the three 'bots I've got in here! 'Jumper, Brawn and Bumblebee haven't moved an nano-metre in the past breem!*

Prowl skirted his way around the immobile form of Jazz, and moved to open the Rec. room door.  
The metal sheets parted to reveal the twins standing motionless, with massive grins on each of their faces.  
He squeezed his way past both of them, then proceeded to sprint down the hallway.

**XxXx**

Mere seconds after his departure, the time was 15.05 hours.  
Every Autobot participating broke their statuesque imitations, and broke down in fits of laughter.  
"Wait, shh, shh, shh!" Sidesipe hushed the group of giggling Autobots.  
In the distance, they heard the tell-tale sound of a mech hitting the ground.  
"Wha' was tha'?" asked Jazz.  
"Prowl must've seen Optimus." Replied Sunstreaker.

**XxXx**

Down the hall from the Rec. room, Prowl lay faceplate first on the ground from a processor crash; frozen, you could say.  
For standing over him was Optimus, also frozen, but in the pose of a ballerina.

**XxXx**

"Does anyone else think it's ironic that a Police Car just froze?" asked Sideswipe. The group of Autobots descended into another fit of giggles.  
"Ya guys do realize that tha' Hatchet _will_ kill us, righ'?"

The crowd dispersed quickly.

End.

* * *

**Ah. That was fun. If anyone was wondering, I got the idea from the 'Improv. Everywhere' thing at Grand Central Station, where everyone was frozen for 5 minutes. That was awesome. ^.^**  
**~Krypt**


End file.
